How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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