Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
