you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
