i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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