You're my little dorito
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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