You're completely useless in the revolution.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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