What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
