Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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