thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
