I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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