hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
