Sry I called you an 8
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
