I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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