I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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