She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
