Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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