At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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