She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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