K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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