She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
