I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
