No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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