So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
only if we run a train.
done.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
