I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
