I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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