I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
