Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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