were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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