Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
