is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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