The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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