So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
