I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize