This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
they're like a gay fantastic four
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Congratulations! We have a period
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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