...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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