in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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