I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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