5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
