I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My day in three words: secret purse cake
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize