Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
