just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
