you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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