The maid of honor just puked.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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