i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Sober January is a disaster.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
