Moan for me like Helen Keller
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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