I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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