nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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