Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You dont lie about slip and slides
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
