If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Shame - the story of my life.
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