Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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