Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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