Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
