I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
