Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
