If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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