when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Vodka?
Forever.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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