oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
