i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
