I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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