There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
