I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
