the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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